Sense Of Humour
by Basched
Summary: A Christmas party has some unexpected results for the man from the future. Originally posted on my LJ and the comm primeval denial as a Secret Santa for SallyCanDance. Humour. Matt/Becker slash.
1. Chapter 1

****_Author's Note: This story was written as a Secret Santa (hence the christmassy theme of the story) for SallyCanDance on the LJ Community Primeval Denial. It was inspired by several prompts but mainly from the song Sense Of Humour by Darren Hayes. This has been beta'd by Fred Basset. Please note this also is rated M for a reason. _

_Enjoy! _

* * *

><p><strong>Sense of Humour <strong>

_"__**You will like my sense of humour…**__" _

The quiet and private Christmas Eve party, hosted by Lester, for a select few ARC employees, started off as just that. Quiet and private.

There was a little wine, even small slices of Christmas pudding—_"Marks and Sparks, only the best for you lot"- _and a small but rather pathetic-looking tree was placed by the steps of the Hub. It was more brown than green, but the amusing little dinosaur decorations and lights that covered it made up for that lack of freshness.

Lester flatly denied that he had brought the tree in, or that his son and daughter had done the decorations, but they all knew and would never dare say anything against such denials. So they graciously accepted this party. None of them expected that such a casual and friendly gathering would end up…as it eventually did.

At first, it was just Abby, Connor, Becker, Jess and Lester, raising glasses of wine in moderate festive cheer, but after an hour, when they were all deciding to go home, the Beta team came into the Hub to check back after a mission. It would have been rude to not offer them a little tipple as well.

"Have we got enough to go around?" asked Jess as she refilled everyone's glasses.

There seemed to be. One bottle of wine appeared to be enough for several more toasts and a few Christmas wishes, however with the sudden appearances of other ARC members, techs bringing in late reports, people checking on experiments and the new shift coming to take over, the party became a lot bigger and louder within the space of a few minutes.

Lester didn't know where the extra alcohol had come from, or who had started the music playing over the speakers, but he wasn't going to put an end to it because people were happy. They deserved this after all their hard work.

He wasn't going to tell them that. He had a reputation to maintain after all.

One hour became two. Two hours became three. Three hours became four and soon it was 9 pm at night and there were definite signs of intoxication and outright silliness.

Didn't these people have families to go home to go to?

Lester himself was feeling the effects of -whatever this fizzy stuff was—but when he saw Connor slipping off the edge of a chair and looking confused as to how it happened, Lester knew he at least was in control.

"Are you okay?" asked Jess, her happy ray of sunshine smile even brighter than usual. Lester turned and saw her swaying slightly. "You're not in the spirit of this party?"

"I am merely cautious, Miss Parker," Lester said, taking the glass from the young woman and putting it down. Jess picking it up again caused him to huff with annoyance. "I'm merely making sure that nothing happens to the expensive equipment and sensitive classified data that happen to be in the same room as a group of increasingly intoxicated staff."

"Oh… right!" Jess' hand cupped over her mouth to hide her amused laughter. "Is that what you're doing? I believe you!"

It didn't sound like she did. In fact, it sounded a lot like Jess was teasing him.

"What?"

Suddenly, Lester was startled as Jess placed a hard—and wet—kiss to his cheek before she bounced off happily to converse with Abby and Connor.

"Well… yes…" Lester wiped his cheek free of her spit and looked around for something to fill his own empty glass. He found some bottles and picked up a few more just to check if they had anything left in them. "Just as long as this doesn't get out of hand, people! I'm your boss not your babysitter! I can still fire you all!"

Lester wasn't sure why that last threat was met with a couple of women coming up to him, smiling, patting him on the back and kissing him on the cheek just like Jess had done. He wasn't sure why everyone ignored the possibility of being fired and carried on enjoying themselves. The party intensified even more when, out of the blue, a karaoke machine was brought in.

Connor Temple drunkenly singing T-Rex's '20th Century Boy' did not impress Lester one bit.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>You will be addicted to my smile, laughing all the while…"<strong>_

It was Christmas Eve and apart from the assigned Charlie shift, he was the only one working and he wasn't supposed to be. He wasn't joining in on the festivities he could hear so clearly on the floor below him, because he had much more to do. He had a world to save.

"Should have known this was where you'd be!"

Matt Anderson wasn't sure who exactly Abby was addressing. He looked up from his computer screen at the exact same time Rex looked up from the bowl of water he was drinking from. Both of them angled their head slightly to the left.

"Huh?"

Rex chirped, as if asking the same question which amused Abby greatly as she walked into the lab and approached the desk to gently stroke Rex's back.

"It had to be you, the only one not joining the party." Abby smiled softly as Rex then scuttled over to Matt and nudged affectionately at his arm. Matt stroked at the reptile and Rex chirped back with appreciation. "And I should have known he would be here too. Rex really likes your office."

"He was here first," said Matt, smiling as he scratched under Rex's chin. "On my first day, after Becker showed me around… Rex was already occupying this space. How he got in here without the alarms going off is still a mystery, but technically this is his office. I'm just looking after it for him."

Rex seemed to like that statement, so he climbed up Matt's arm onto his shoulder and took a triumphant glide around the room before landing on the desk beside him.

"Well, it's nice that you're doing it." Abby sighed. "Not many people get him or understand why he's here. Thank you for looking after him whilst Connor and I were gone."

"It was my pleasure."

"Look, are you going to come down to the party? People are wondering where you are."

No, they weren't wondering about Matt, because he was their boss. Although they liked him well enough, he was still a bit of an outsider. But Matt always had been ever since he came here. He appreciated Abby's gesture though. Matt shook his head and allowed Rex to jump over to his owner. Abby hugged the reptile and headed for the door.

"If you change your mind, come down and celebrate with us."

"I will."

Matt only planned on going if he changed his mind, which was very unlikely.

After Abby left, Matt went back to his work. It didn't matter to him that it was Christmas Eve, he had never celebrated Christmas anyway. There wasn't anything to celebrate when everything was dead or dying. The predators didn't stop killing if it was someone's birthday, the burrowers didn't care if it was Christmas and the harsh toxic air of the earth came every day of the year… holidays be damned. So how could anyone grow up celebrating those things?

The years he had spent in this time hadn't exactly warmed him to the festivals either. He forgot his own birthdays, and never really worried about them, they weren't important. He stayed away from the people celebrating various holidays and religious events because he didn't feel the spirit of Christmas, not when the fate of the world still hung in the balance. If he stopped and joined in for just a moment, if he let his guard down, there would be no Christmas. There would be nothing. He had to stay strong.

It wasn't easy. So many lives depended on him.

So, Matt carried on working, forgetting the passing of the time and ignoring the happy people below. Half an hour after Abby had been in to check on him, Jess came along.

When she opened the door, the wailing tones some of someone (it sounded like Lester) trying to sing _'Living On A Prayer'_ became louder and caused Matt's whole body tense and cringe. They were terribly out of tune.

"Hi, Matt! What are you doing cooped up in here?"

"I'm working, Jess," he replied solemnly.

"But it's Christmas Eve! Everyone is having fun! Come down and have some fun with us! Please? How often is it that Lester allows this to happen? Why won't you come down?"

Matt counted off the reasons in his head.

That awful singing, too many people, the work load he still had to get through, his father wouldn't allow it and Matt wouldn't forgive himself if he tried to join in and failed his mission.

"This work is important, Jess."

"Christmas is important!"

"Maybe I'll come down later."

Jess looked to be extremely frustrated by that reply but just like Jess, she shrugged it off pretty quickly.

"You're so…bah humbug, Matt Anderson! I never expected that of you! Oh, well… if it makes you happy! Toodles!" Jess waved and walked away, nearly crashing into the door, which she found hilarious. "Oops! I've got to look where I'm going!"

Matt had to smile at her charming tipsiness.

When later came, it was an hour before midnight, and Matt was still at his desk, fighting back fatigue and trying to ignore the strong karaoke wailings going on downstairs.

His reason for being a 'party poop' was now due to the drunken renderings of Slade, Cliff Richard and other assorted Christmassy songs he could hear, rather than anything else. People really shouldn't sing when drunk, especially Connor.

When Matt heard the cries and choruses of "Happy Christmas" a few minutes later, he knew it was past midnight. He was thinking of stopping and going home, slipping out of the ARC unnoticed, so he shut down his laptop and turned off the lights. When he reached the door, he was blocked by someone standing in his way.

That someone was slightly drunk, judging by the glaze in those intense brown eyes.

"It's Christmas Eve and guess who's still working?" drolled a sarcastic voice. "Why am I not surprised? Matt, get your arse down to this party now!"

The grin was impossible to keep under control with such an order.

"Or?"

"Or I'll drag you down there myself and make you sing."

That was a pretty convincing 'or'. Becker had such a way with words that never failed to amuse Matt. Becker was one of the few people who could make him smile.

"I don't have to listen to you sing, do I?"

"If it will make you show your face at the party, sure." Becker returned the sly smirk. "I've been told I'm awful. Ears have been known to bleed because of my singing."

Maybe just this once, Matt Anderson would see what this Christmas was really all about.

"Fine, I'll go, but only because you asked me so nicely."

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>And I will end each conversation, I will leave the room with upper hand and you will understand…"<strong>_

This entire evening had been puzzling for Lester. Yes, he had consumed some alcohol and things were getting mighty fuzzy, but when pretty much every woman in attendance came up to you and kissed you, you couldn't really focus.

"Lester!" Jess' jovial voice rang out through the whole room and she flung her arms around his waist. She kissed him on the cheek, a big wet sloppy kiss followed by a raspberry. He felt a sudden creeping wetness over his back, probably because Jess had spilt some of her drink. "Happy Christmas!"

"And a merry whatever to you, too." Lester folded his arms and adopted his usual no-nonsense poise. "Jess, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, is it necessary for you and every female here to keep kissing me? I like a little tonsil tennis as much as anyone, but I would prefer a warning, or maybe to be asked if I…"

"Look who has finally turned up!" said Jess, even more hyper than before. Her little jumping up and down was making Lester feel a little disorientated. Or was that the alcohol?

"Well, well, well."

The reason as to why women were kissing him was forgotten—just for a moment—when Lester peered in the direction of the elevator and spied the elusive Matt Anderson walking in, conversing with Captain Becker.

No one really knew the man, despite his amazing credentials and the months he had been working here. Matt's quiet charm and wit certainly made him likeable to everyone… but there was something not quite right with him.

"It's typical, isn't it?" Jess giggled. "Everyone has tried to get Matt to attend this party, and who manages to convince him? Becker!"

The high pitched screech of _"Oh my god! Becker!"_ made Lester's ear hurt, but he wasn't surprised the good captain had got his leader to join the masses. Despite a dodgy start, some squabbles and intense disagreements, the two had become friends and now they each had this uncanny ability to be… annoyingly… annoying in each other's presence.

"Well done to him, then." That sounded extremely sarcastic but Lester intended it to be that way. The two men could be like teenagers sometimes.

"I like Matt." Lester looked at Jess with a quizzical gaze. She smiled. "He's a nice guy! People don't give him enough credit. Some still don't like him for replacing Danny… but I think he's lovely."

"I hired him because he's the best man for the job, Jess, not because he's lovely."

Jess nodded.

"But I am right… right?"

Lester sighed heavily.

"Yes, Matt is very lovely."

"We should do something for him."

Alarms went off in Lester's mind, not only for the _"we should do something for him_" suggestion from Jess but because the karaoke had started off again. One of the lab techs was now pretending to be Elvis or was it Shaking Stevens? It didn't matter because he sounded nothing like either of them.

Wasn't it time for all these people to go home?

Another strong and overpowering kiss from another employee (this particular woman had now done this to him three times) cut Lester's thoughts short. The woman practically took all his breath away and didn't give him any leeway. Lester didn't mind all the kissing but he expected to have some kind of say in the matter. When she parted and left, Lester was left a little disorientated and flustered.

"Yes… we should do something…" he murmured, watching the woman slowly walk away from him.

"GREAT!" Jess clapped her hands and did another one of her jigs. "I say we fix him up with a date! I think he might like to go on a date! It will be wonderful! You can help me!"

"No! I-!"

It must have been the constant stream of women coming up to and snogging him, that made Lester go along with the plan without realising what she had intended. Or was it the alcohol?

Either way, Jess had run off before he could object or say anything.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>You will find my scent attractive, you will like my real engaging eyes and playful childlike smile…" <strong>_

Matt was not a heavy drinker. He enjoyed a beer or so, but he never overdid it. So he wasn't surprised to discover that within only half an hour and after one bottle of beer, he was feeling slightly light-headed. There had been no alcohol in his time; sometimes there wasn't even any water so he wasn't used to drinking the strong stuff.

It was now turning from night to early morning. Matt looked at his watch and saw it was coming up to 2am. He wanted to go home… but for some unknown reason he stayed.

"_I could waste a day… with yoooou!" _

Matt had to smile at the way Abby and Connor were singing together, despite the terrible tones. Connor was completely sloshed, barely able to stand, but the two of them clung onto each other with all their strength and sung through one microphone, grinning and giggling at their own silliness. The song wasn't Christmassy or anything Matt recognised, but it was amusing all the same.

_"I could slip away into… another diiiiiiimention! Oh what a perfect way! To spend a day…. with yoooooou hoooo ooooo Oooooh!"_

The oohing got higher pitched and the feedback certainly caused a chilling shiver to run down Matt's spine. When they were finished, Connor tripped down the steps and he would have fallen flat on his face if Becker hadn't been there to catch him. Connor latched on to Becker by wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"Steady there, Connor, you're a bit drunk."

Becker could hardly talk. Matt thought he looked a little tipsy as well. Connor laughed and then proceeded to stroke at Becker's hair.

"I love you!" Connor smooched his face against Becker's chest and patted his bum.

"Okay!" Becker quickly took Connor's hand away from his rear. "I think you'd better go home."

"But I love you! I do! I love all you guys! I love Lester, Jess, and Matt! Matt is great! He's a good boss!" Connor burped. "I love the canteen staff! But Abbecker…I love you the most!"

Becker smiled and patted Connor sincerely on the back.

"I love you too, Connor. But it's best you get a cab and go home."

"Okay! Anything you say, sweetheart!"

Matt watched as Connor planted a drunken kiss to Becker's cheek and then frowned as Abby began to lead him away.

"Abby… I think you need to shave."

"I'll look into that, Connor." Abby chuckled. "Come on."

"MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!" Connor then began to sing Jingle Bells at the top of his voice as they staggered and swayed towards the elevator.

This had been Connor and Abby's first Christmas back from the Cretaceous, so Connor could hardly be blamed for enjoying himself so. Everyone cheered and wished him a happy Christmas in return and listened to his cheerful voice singing and fading slowly away.

"Danger, Matt Anderson! Danger!"

Matt was broken away from Connor's dulcet tones by the sudden warning.

Becker had been pacing himself with the drink, unlike Connor and a number of others had, but he was a little drunk. His steps faltered slightly as he approached Matt. The lopsided grin on his face was comical, for the normally serious captain was like a mischievous kid.

Matt tried his best not to smirk back. He failed.

"What are you talking about, _sweetheart?_"

"Oh ha ha! Very funny, Matt! But just you beware!" Becker leaned over to the table behind him and picked up two bottles of beer before whispering into Matt's ear, "You're being set up!"

"Huh?" Matt jerked his head round and scanned the entire room but saw no one looking his way.

_"All I want for Christmas… is YOU!" _ Jess was now up on the stage singing the cheesiest Christmas song he had ever heard, but because it was Jess… it didn't seem as bad. It was actually quite enchanting despite her bouts of laughter between words.

"Jess." Becker nudged Matt and indicated with a nod of his head to where Jess was now doing an adorable dance. "I think she's trying to set you up on a date."

"I might already have a girlfriend, hasn't she thought of that?"

Becker laughed and handed Matt the second bottle of beer, which he took without realising.

"Who are you kidding? Jess is always right about these things. She knows you're single and so does everyone else. You're always here and so this conspiracy with her and Lester…"

"Jess is conspiring with Lester?" Matt choked on his first swig of his second bottle. The beer dribbled down his chin and over his t-shirt, and his curses made the grin on Becker's face widen.

"I know, it's shocking, but I have seen both of them trying to convince a few of the ladies, mostly those under my command, to ask you out. Jess has been anything but subtle about it, Matt. She thinks that you need a woman who can give you some love and affection, apparently."

"She thinks that?" Matt shook his head. "Really?"

Becker nodded, looked away and watched the woman singing on the stairs. He suddenly became a little strange and distant, his smile vanished as he swigged on his beer and to Matt he appeared to be lost, his mind far away in thought. It was no secret that Jess had a huge crush on Becker, so as he stared at her singing the Mariah Carey song, Matt thought that perhaps Becker liked her back.

Matt felt a curious and strong seething dislike about that.

"Becker? Are you okay?"

The grin came back tenfold and it made Becker look 17 years old not 27. He looked away from Jess and whacked Matt playfully on the back.

"You might not need love and affection… but mate, you could seriously do with a shag!"

The bottle instantly slipped from Matt's fingers and it shattered on the floor. He was shocked, not only at Becker's rather blunt comment, but at the roar of his laughter.

Normally Becker chuckled softly, hardly audible, but this laugh was loud enough to gain a lot of people's attention. Jess was especially surprised as she choked on the words of the song.

"Has it been that long since you last had one?"

"What? No! It was only last week!" Matt lied and it was a terrible one because Becker saw right through it.

"Did I say something wrong?" asked Becker, as Matt slowly began to clear up the broken glass in a frantic manner. Matt backed away when Becker knelt down to help him.

No, Becker hadn't said anything wrong, just a little unusual, for the brash comment had caught Matt completely by surprise. He had actually thought Becker was propositioning him and the idea didn't repulse Matt or make him cringe with disgust. Instead his whole body warmed at such a thought, and tingled with excitement.

"So Jess thinks she can set me up with someone here?" Matt tried to shake away the peculiar feelings and gathered up the broken pieces of bottle. Again Becker tried to help him, but Matt edged away and quickly found a bin to dispose of the glass. "She would have a hard time with that."

"When Jess gets an idea into her head… there's no stopping her."

When Matt turned back around from the bin, he saw Becker back on his feet and perching his backside against the table edge. Becker then lifted his bottle up and closed his mouth around the end.

He drank, swallowing as the top and some of the neck of the bottle disappeared deep into his mouth. When he lowered the bottle down, Becker sucked heavily over the opening to prevent the backwash and beer from falling down the side of the glass. A long slurp sounded as his lips came away from the neck and Matt felt a sudden rush of blood swell inside him.

"_Oh crap!" _

He hadn't realised that he had been watching Becker so intently, with his mouth slightly parted. Matt didn't realise that such a simple act of taking a sip of beer could be so damned… provocative. Yet the constriction in his jeans was certainly telling him it was so.

Matt was so busy trying to hide the rather unexpected arousal that he didn't notice that Becker had seen him watching.


	2. Chapter 2

****_Author's Note: Second part of the Christmas story. Warning this does have strong sexual content. Slash. But if you like that kind of thing...enjoy! _

* * *

><p><strong>Sense of Humour<strong>

"_**You will find my style appealing. I will overpower you with wit and I will be a hit…."**_

Becker muttered something.

"What? Matt asked, snapping himself out of his trance. He finally realised that Becker had been talking to him and he wasn't listening. "What did you say?"

"It's the mistletoe attached to his head!" Becker pointed towards Lester who was attempting to tidy up, but another woman interrupted the man by planting a big smacker of a kiss on his lips. "You know what the mistletoe means, right?"

"Er…"

Matt knew about the plant and there was an important or romantic tradition to it, but he couldn't quite…

"When two people meet beneath mistletoe…" Becker emphasised his words by using his fingers. "They have to kiss. So the women are just honouring that tradition by kissing Lester."

"Does he know he's wearing it?"

Becker laughed, shook his head and drained the rest of his drink. Then he held out his arms and bowed slightly.

"Who do you think put it there?"

Matt should have known, even though Becker wasn't one for pranks.

"Lester will kill you, if he finds out."

"He should be thankful it's only the ladies kissing him. A couple of the lads from Delta team were thinking of giving him a few! His face would have been even more of a picture than it is now!"

"You are mean to him."

"But he loves it!"

Becker was so proud of his accomplishments, but there was an even more fiendish and excited glint in his eyes.

Jess had finished her song and as everyone applauded she came bounding down the stairs. She waved to Becker—again Matt strangely hated the way Becker winked back at her—and watched her approach Lester. She kissed him on the cheek, as the green plant nestled in Lester's hair demanded, and laughed afterwards which only made Lester snap.

Matt was amazed as to how Becker had secured the mistletoe there and that Lester hadn't discovered it. Could he not feel it?

"Right! That's it! This party is now officially over! Go home the lot of you!" Lester began to herd all the staff out of the room. "It's Christmas, for God's sake! Out! Out!"

There were a lot of complaints and moans when the majority of the people slowly shuffled in the direction of the lift. They still wanted to stay, but Lester was having none of it.

"No!" cried Jess. She stamped her foot down and angrily confronted him. Everyone stopped and turned to watch at the inevitable confliction.

"No?"

"No! We're not going anywhere, not until we hear Matt sing!"

"Why on earth do you want to hear Matt sing? Wouldn't you much rather hear two foxes mating? The two sound similar!"

"Hey!" Mat protested, even though he knew it was true.

"Everyone else has sung! It's his turn! He has to! Right, Matt?" Jess smiled a pleading smile at him. "We would love to hear you."

Matt felt fear grip his entire body and cold perspiration beaded on his forehead and across his back. This was a fear unlike any he had felt in his own time. There were no predators surrounding him preparing to rip his limbs from his body and devour him. It wasn't the fear he had when he saw the Swarms coming towards him like a tidal wave… this was different. He was being asked to sing.

His head was shaking from side to side, though he was smiling, trying to hide his fear over such a menial thing.

"Oh no. I'm not singing. I just want to go home, as I'm sure everyone else does."

That didn't get the response he was expecting, from the other ARC staff or from Becker. Matt saw how disappointed Jess was and so she and everyone else began to protest and demand a song from their new field leader.

"Go on! Just a little song!"

"Something Christmassy!"

"We won't laugh, promise."

"Please, Matt!" Jess took hold of his hands and she squeezed them affectionately. "For me? I would love to hear what your voice sounds like! Can you sing like Ron Keating? I reckon you can! He's Irish too!"

"Ron Keating?"

"You don't know who Ron Keating is? Aw, Matt! You really are out of the times!"

"Think you'll find that's _Ronan_, Jess. Not Ron." Lester ignored the curious looks from the others about how he could have known that.

When she hugged him, Matt almost gave in. He thought about singing the one song he knew from his childhood… the only happy song he had heard then, but it was Becker's unexpected response that prevented him from going to the stairs and picking up the microphone.

"Right! You lot, listen up!" Becker cleared his throat and became quite stern. Everyone stopped talking and looked to him with rapt attention. "It's Christmas! We should all be grateful to Lester for allowing this party to go further than it has, though it does seem some are more grateful to him than others."

There were some whistles and laughs, which Lester appeared to not appreciate, but Matt saw the sly smile at the corner of his mouth.

"Go back to your families, get some rest and enjoy this holiday," Becker continued. "You'll all be back here soon enough, so make the most of it. FYI, that is an order not a request."

There were grumbles and complaints in response.

"I said move it! This is a government facility not your local pub!"

When there were still no signs of people going, Becker shook his head and muttered into the mic, _"Don't say I didn't warn you."_

The music from the karaoke machine began and very shortly after, Becker began to sing. In Matt's opinion, the flat tuneless words were sung badly on purpose.

_"It's not the way you look, it's not the way that you smile… although there's something to them!" _

It did the trick. A lot of people rushed for the lift and stairs as Becker singing the 1982 song got worse and worse, but for Matt, it made him laugh like he had never before experienced. He couldn't control it or the tears streaming down his face as Becker then began to dance, or sway.

This was not like him but Matt couldn't stop laughing, even with the painful stitch in his side and the difficulty in breathing. He wasn't the only one. Jess was creasing up so much that she slumped to the floor, landing on her bottom.

Matt almost joined her but the wall stopped him from tipping over. By the time Becker had finished the song, Matt could barely breathe.

"All right! All right… you've made your point!" Lester grumbled, snatching the mic from the chuckling captain. "Everyone has gone and I'm eternally grateful, but do you know how difficult it is to replace the essential staff you've just tortured? I might need several weeks to recover myself!"

Matt wiped the tears from his eyes, the euphoria of such a bout of laughter was wearing off but it still felt great coming down. He had never laughed like this in his whole life, it was a tremendous feeling. He reached out his hands and managed to find Jess so he could help her to her feet, but he failed.

"I think my ears are actually bleeding!" he joked, making Jess snigger loudly through her nose. The noise caused Matt to almost break into giggles again.

"I got everyone out, didn't I?" Becker flopped his arm around Lester's shoulder and held out his other arm to the sparse room. Only one tech sat at Jess' station looking bored.

"But at what cost, Captain? Hmm?"

"Lester," Becker sincerely smiled. "I am going to say this just the once, but I mean it. No jokes. On behalf of the ARC teams I want to thank you for this party. After everything we've been through, they needed it and so did you. You're a good man. Thanks."

Lester's eyebrow rose in suspicion.

"Oh please… don't get sentimental on me. I understand the alcohol is partially at fault but I…" Lester stopped in mid-sentence as Becker sheepishly grinned and reached out to pluck the mistletoe from his hair. The single eyebrow rise became a double eyebrow rise and the stern disapproving scowl became surprise and shock when Becker held the mistletoe close by and kissed Lester on the cheek. "Oh now that's just wrong!"

Matt's laughter was not helped when Lester's face went bright red. Jess erupted into hysterics again at Lester's embarrassment. Lester snatched the mistletoe and stormed off out of the Hub, muttering angrily under his breath. However, he paused on the top of the stairs and turned his head round to look over his shoulder.

"I want the lot of you back in four days… sober and fit for work. The anomalies don't look after themselves you know!" A small and devious smile did eventually spread across his face. "Happy Christmas, Matt."

James Lester didn't wait around for any further responses. He strode out of the room as only he could after spending a whole night with mistletoe in his hair… with utter style.

"He appreciated it. I could tell," said Becker proudly, bending down with Matt to help Jess to her feet.

Matt couldn't verbally reply as he was still trying to figure out why Lester had only said Happy Christmas to him.

It didn't matter, because Becker put a stop to the laughter almost as quickly as he had started it. "I'd better get Jess home."

Something in Matt's gut wrenched horribly as Becker scooped Jess up into his arms and held her close to his body. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her head leaned on his shoulders whilst his arms kept a strong hold. The little drunken woman snuggled into Becker's grasp and smiled as her hands caressed playfully at his neck.

"I need to go to bed, Becker," she whispered. "Come with me. I can give you your present!"

"Jess!"

Matt didn't hear Becker's reply, he only heard her giggle and his laughter in return. The wrenching inside him turned to sickness and a horrible bile rose in his throat.

"Matt… I'm going to take her back to her apartment and open my present. Will you be all right to get yourself home?"

He nodded, again unable to speak for fear that the wrong words would come out of his mouth and make him look like an idiot.

"Good night, Matt. Happy Christmas."

"Happy ChristMatt!" Jess giggled and waved over Becker's shoulder as she was carried away.

Matt remained rooted to the spot for a good ten minutes, looking round at the mess the party had produced. He hadn't made any of this, Matt hadn't even wanted to come down to this party, but he had, all because of Becker, all because of that charming wit of his.

This was anything but fun. It was another reason to not join in on this festive holiday and it was another reason to keep focused on the mission. Matt tried to put his new jealousy aside and began cleaning up the mess. Thankfully the tech at Jess' station didn't engage in conversation with him and allowed Matt to tidy up in peace.

If his father could see him now, he would be chastised. He would be called a fool for letting his feelings get the better of him and the fact that it was over another man… well that just wouldn't do. Only the mission mattered. Nothing else should concern him.

But it was Becker he thought of as he cleared up.

Matt barely acknowledged the tech as he left, in fact the only thing that ran through his mind was, why Becker? What made him so special?

The microphone was in his hand. The karaoke machine had to be packed away but somehow he couldn't manage it. As he was still on his own, Matt browsed through the song list and eventually found one to his liking.

Then he began to sing.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>If only you'd come to me. If only you'd run to me…if only you'd relax upon your rules and dare to be love's fool…."<strong>_

No decorations, no personal items. It was barren of most things except for necessary furniture and appliances in the kitchen. His apartment was like his life, which only consisted of what was essential, no niceties, no friends or relationships. It would mess him up, he would be too cluttered.

Matt walked out on to his balcony and saw the coloured lights of Christmas surrounding the other buildings. Even though it was 4am in the morning now, there were still the sounds of people enjoying themselves off in the distance. This holiday was supposed to be a time of family and friends, of being with those you love, but Matt didn't have those things, except his father. He never had friends or any who lived long enough.

"Hello, father."

"_Matthew?" _ The voice on the other end of the phone was very surprised to hear him. _"Is there something wrong? Have you discovered something new about the mission?" _

"No, not really. I just thought I'd phone you up. Wish you Happy Christmas."

"_It's 4am in the morning, son, it's hardly appropriate to be phoning me up at this time." _

"No, I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I just wanted to see how you are and say how much I love…"

"_Matthew, I am tired. Such trivial sentimental well wishes are not really productive at 4am in the morning. Are they? I know what this time of year means but we cannot allow it to distract us from what's important. Get some sleep and come see me later, at a more suitable hour." _

"Of course, Da. I'm sorry. Good night."

The phone clicked off and Matt was left listening to the dialling tone. It was cold outside, but after that call, the dismissal he received from his father made it feel colder. It was not just outside but inside as well. Inside his chest it felt numb.

At the party he had laughed, he had been happy. Matt had, for the first time in his entire 33 years, felt something other than fear, anger and the pressure of responsibility, and it was Becker's fault.

Now he was anything but happy as he thought of how foolish he had been, thinking he could get anything more from Becker other than his friendship. He hadn't known he wanted it, but now it was all too clear and he realised it far too late. Jess was the one Becker had gone home with and Matt had lost his chance to do or say anything about it.

The song he had sung felt bitterly true.

His father was right… having friends would only lead to disappointment and self-doubt.

A crash downstairs broke into his thoughts. Matt bolted from the balcony and grabbed a small EMD from behind his kitchen counter and slowly descended to where the intruder had entered his home, the weapon ready and primed on its lowest setting.

There was another crash and laughter.

"Okay! That was anything but stealthy! Bloody table was in the damned way!"

Matt was greatly amused as he saw Becker picking up the small table he'd knocked over. Matt powered down the EMD, tucked it in the back pocket of his jeans and watched as the slightly tipsy Becker got to his feet, trying to put back the small dish of keys and forgotten mail on the table.

"Your security sucks, Matt. I could have been anyone!" Becker pointed to the open door before closing it with a kick of his boot. "You might want to consider some better locks."

"Or you could have just used the doorbell."

Becker just grinned and shook his head in disbelief.

"I could have just used the doorbell! Idiot! Well, I'll remember that next time."

There was going to be a next time?

Becker knew what was going through his mind, for Matt saw that silly drunken expression vanish and Becker strode up to him as if he was stone cold sober.

"What…" Matt felt his voice choke as Becker barged his chest up against him, making him stagger back towards the stairs. "What are you doing?"

"Something I know I'll regret if I don't try." Becker gave Matt another shove with his chest and then grabbed him, his hand curled round the back of Matt's neck pulling him closer. "What do you want to do?"

Was this some kind of dare? Or joke?

Becker's other hand slid up his back, grazed over his shoulders and trailed slowly down his side, and over his hip to clasp tightly at his arse.

"You're not planning on shooting me again, are you?" Becker took the EMD out of Matt's pocket. "You know you're not supposed to have these outside the ARC."

"I…" Matt did have authority to have one but again he couldn't explain that to Becker, not when their bodies jerked together and he felt the hard jab in his thigh. Becker smirked at his surprise and tucked the EMD into the waistband of Matt's jeans.

This must be a joke. It had to be.

"Becker…"

Those eyes were practically yelling at Matt to do it. Then Matt's hands did what they had to do. They shot up from his sides, and grabbed hold of Becker's face. He pulled Becker to him and their mouths crashed together ferociously in a hungry, wild and ravaging kiss. They stumbled, unbalanced as they fought for dominance and, as their mouths tore and bit, Matt felt his back hit into the wall. The pain didn't matter.

Becker was kissing him and he felt invigorated. Matt felt so elated that he couldn't stop himself. Then Matt laughed, unintentionally, as Becker moaned delectably into his mouth.

"What?" Becker sounded a little pissed off, but it seemed he was trying not to do the same thing. "Are you laughing? This is a serious moment here and you're laughing?"

Matt couldn't look at him. With his head bowed he could only picture what the man looked like… his usually pristine black hair all ruffled; his lips wet and swollen from the kiss and his clothes crumpled. Matt clamped his hand over his mouth to try a stifle the chuckling.

"No… sorry, it was… forget it. Do you want to carry on?" he asked hoping that this wasn't all some prank Becker was pulling.

_Make fun of the new guy…_

"You're not going to laugh are you?"

Matt's heart began racing, pounding even more when he felt Becker's hand grasp his hair and pull, forcing him to look up at him.

"Promise?" Becker asked.

"Promise."

Becker grinned and cupped his face again.

"You'd bloody better not."

His lips only brushed against Matt's, soft and fleeting but it was enough to make Matt snort right into his mouth.

"Damn it, Matt!"

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>You will like my sense of humour…."<strong>_

He didn't know what time it was, he didn't even know where he was, at first. What Matt Anderson did know was that he was beneath something heavy and every part of him was aching pleasurably.

He turned his head and opened his eyes, only to close them again as the hot sweat dripped into his eyes. His whole body was covered with it, drenching the sheets beneath him, along with the snoring warm body of Becker draped over his back.

Matt smiled. He hadn't expected his Christmas to turn out like this.

He moved only a little and those twinges of pain in his anus made him wince, so Matt decided to keep very still. But it wasn't easy, especially with Becker still fast asleep on his back.

In his current state, Becker's weight wasn't entirely unpleasant. His snoring breaths drifted over Matt's skin, tickling all around his neck and shoulders; his arms sprawled out to the sides, jerking every so often just like his feet, which knocked against Matt's own; but it was Becker's spent and limp cock pressing and slightly rubbing against his arse that made him grin into his pillow. Just remembering how Becker had first broken him made Matt twitch again with pleasure.

He smiled as he remembered that first time. The pain of such girth spreading him and forcing its way deep soon turned to pleasure as Becker began to thrust. He grinned and moaned as he remembered Becker's hand around his cock, beating a rhythm along with each slap of their bodies. Matt heard Becker's grunts in his ears, he recalled the moans and gasping orders and how Becker made him come, only to shoot up inside him shortly after.

When it was his turn, when he managed to fit all of himself into Becker, Matt had nearly collapsed with the constriction around him. It had taken a few moments of just lying there, so engorged that he couldn't move even if he'd wanted to but eventually Matt managed to give back as good as he'd got.

He had not expected any of this, certainly not after Becker went home with Jess. He imagined that Becker didn't either, but it had happened. Becker had turned up and in a matter of seconds-no date or taking it slow, no discussions about feelings and how it might affect their work—they had climbed into bed together. Yes, or no, that was all it needed. No complications.

Becker stirred. His body wriggled again causing Matt's aches and pains to flare up.

"We're such whores. Oh god… did we really do all that?"

Matt was going to say good morning to such a mumbled greeting, but again he replied with an aroused snigger as Becker then began to kiss his way down Matt's spine. He was right, after everything they did there was no other term for it. No complications meant no holding back and neither of them did that.

The majority of Becker's weight eventually lifted up off him and then hands joined in with the kisses and bites on his back. Matt bit down on his own lip as Becker continued downward, eventually digging his teeth into his buttocks. Becker said something else, before hands pried apart his cheeks and he lashed his tongue over Matt's anus.

The feel of Becker's tongue, the wetness lapped across his already sensitive arse caused Matt to jerk. The sensation of Becker laughing between his cheeks only made him laugh as well.

Matt buried his face into the pillow, tensing as Becker continued to pleasure him with his mouth. Matt squirmed with each lick, he moaned as Becker sucked and bit hard, his hands squeezing lightly and tenderly over his buttocks. Matt's hips suddenly jerked up as he felt Becker moan into him and that jerk got Matt up onto his knees, giving Becker's hands access to his cock, which was already hard again.

Then, as Becker began to work at both, a steady rhythm enticing pleasure into Matt's cock with his hand and his mouth devouring and savouring his arse, there was a very rude interruption. Matt's phone on the bedside table was ringing.

With absolutely no sense in his head, thanks to Becker, Matt flailed his hand out to pick it up. It was still ringing as Matt tried to focus, but his broken pleasured moans, the shaking and trembling state his body was in wouldn't allow him.

Then, Matt didn't recall why, he pressed the answer button.

"Hell—ah!" He couldn't even say one simple word when Becker bit a little harder into his arse. But that bite wasn't the surprise, it was the person on the other end of the phone.

Matt had expected Lester from the ARC or even his father… certainly not Jess Parker.

"_Happy Christmas, Matt!" _Jess' excited voice cried back down the phone. "_How are you on this wonderful day?" _

Jess sounded way too chipper for someone who should have been suffering from a hangover.

"I'm… fi—_ah_—ne!" Matt had to bite his lip as again Becker found a sensitive part of him with his mouth. "Jess, is this an urgent matter or can this wait until an—_ah jeez!_—other time?"

"_Oh it's nothing much! Lester and I arranged a present for you. I just wanted to know if he arrived." _

"You arranged what?" Matt bolted so suddenly that Becker broke away from him and fell off the bed. Matt looked in astonishment as the smug-looking soldier climbed back on and lay on his back and tucked his hands behind his head.

Matt was feeling dizzy. Something was not right here.

"_Your Christmas present!"_ cried Jess happily. "_He did turn up, right? He was all worried that you wouldn't like him showing up but Lester and I convinced him otherwise!"_

"You and _Lester_ set me up with Becker? As a Christmas present?"

"_Sure we did!"_

"I suggested book tokens," said Becker shaking his head. "But their idea turned out to be much better in my opinion."

"_Lester_ suggested this?" Matt couldn't believe it. Then his mind did a double take and he sneered at Becker. "You suggested _book tokens? Seriously?" _

There was a startled squeal on the other end of the phone.

"_Oh my God! Is Becker still there? MATT! What did you do? What did Becker do? He was only supposed to ask you out for dinner or a drink! What happened? No, I don't need details! Not until later anyway! I told him not to be so forward but I should have known better! Oh my god! You guys! It's so adorable!"_

The squee-ing in his ear caused Matt's face to involuntarily scrunch up in shock. As Jess' excitement continued screaming down his ear, he couldn't put the phone down. Eventually, Becker snatched it off of him.

"Thank you, Jess. Have a good Christmas!" he yelled quickly, knowing full well she didn't hear him and cut the call. He threw the phone back on to the table and rose up to Matt's height again. "Are…are you okay?"

Matt wasn't sure. He was stunned that Jess and Lester had done this. How did they know? Why was Becker doing this? Was it really just a prank on the new guy?

"I'm sorry." Becker reached out with his hand and placed his palm against the soft fuzz of stubble on Matt's face. "If this isn't want you wanted… I could always get the book tokens."

"Er…"

Matt didn't even get a chance to voice his doubts as they vanished the instant Becker kissed him again. Matt didn't care where that mouth had been before, it didn't matter as their arms wrapped around each other and the kiss carried on.

"Happy Christmas, Matt."

It was the first he had ever had, and if Becker was willing to celebrate like this, then Matt was certain there would be plenty more.

Now his mission didn't feel like a burden any longer.


End file.
